l.odinson | video | Missive 002

[shiftedshape]

[Loki doesn't look nervous, just cautious. But his expression does seem strangely serious when the video first begins, and it takes just a bit longer than usual for a charming smile to flash across his face.]

Hello, everyone. There's something I'd like to...share with you. Perhaps I should have said something sooner, but in truth, it's been a while since it's come up. A rough few years, you might say.

[Some of which he spent masquerading as someone specific so he hardly had the option. And then, recently, he'd thought he'd lost the option entirely for the time being. But it turned out there were exceptions to the limitations the Navarch had placed.]

Some of you might be aware of my talents, but if not, well. [Loki holds a hand out, face up, and a miniature fireworks display erupts from his palm.] My specialty is illusion. This...can mean a lot of things, honestly, but I bring it up because, well. You never know what might happen, on these ships. So I'd rather you all know what possibilities to expect.

[Two fingers go up.] Two possibilities, really. One is that I might be forced to take my Frost Giant form. That's my...natural appearance, but not the one I'm accustomed to. [He grimaces, uncomfortable.] Blue skin. Red eyes. Raised markings. I'd rather not show that off if I don't have to, truthfully.

[He drops one finger as he goes on.] But the second is more of a...choice. Sort of. [He's not getting into all that right now, it's hardly the point.] So I'd like you to know what that looks like.

[Finger still thrust in the air, a green-gold flash rolls over him. In an instant, he's shifted to his "female" form. Same dark hair and high cheekbones. Still tall and built out of lean muscle. But there's softness where there hadn't been before, even as a characteristically sharp grin crosses his face. When he speaks, his baritone has been replaced with something more like an alto, but it still clearly sounds like him.]

Ta-da? [The hand he's held up flourishes out as he gives a joking half-bow.] So. Now you all know there isn't some strange woman aboard, should you see me around. [He shrugs.] That's all, really. Didn't want to scare anyone. If anyone has any questions, I'll do my best to answer.

[Another smile-- slightly shy with how genuinely happy it is --and he leans in to end the feed.]

[WARDEN FILTER]

It appears that the limitations placed on my shapeshifting powers by the Navarch don't affect these two forms. From what I can tell, I'm unable to shift into others' forms, but I can turn into myself just fine. I hope this is honest enough, for now. I'm not sure how wise it is to reveal any more than that to the inmates, at this point. But you are all welcome to disagree.

Comments

text | grace.g | PRIVATE

[expectaspectre]

[ Privacy filter on, since it seemed a sensitive subject. ]

you don't like being blue ?

[ the female form goes unremarked upon. ]

text | l.odinson | private

[shiftedshape]

It's less the color and more the species.
I wasn't told what I was until late in life.
But I *was* taught to hate them.

[expectaspectre]

oh
i see

that's very hard
i'm sorry that was done to you

i can't pretend to know all the complexities of a culture so unfamiliar to mine
well two cultures i suppose
but maybe it can be a comfort that no one else here is likely to share those prejudices

it might be more
safe
to explore identity in a place like this

cw: mild transphobia? maybe? he's not good at this, y'all

[shiftedshape]

You have a point.
Hopefully we can make this place feel safe enough that inmates might feel the same way.
I wouldn't have, before, but that may have been more because I was paranoid about what things might contribute to my graduation.
I would have been annoyed if wearing dresses had been the solution to all my problems.
If only because I took some strange pride in having distressingly complex problems that confounded anyone who tried to get to know me.
And I think many of our current inmates revel in being enigmas just as I did.

[Was it pride or just a deep fear of being known? Probably both.]

[expectaspectre]

you're definitely right about that
it can be a vicious cycle of isolation, to convince yourself your situation is so different and unique that nobody could possibly help you with your problems or relate to something so different
etc
probably plenty of inmates get trapped in that kind of thinking

i can think of a few who definitely use everything that happens to them as examples of reinforcement of their negative worldview

can you tell i've been reading a lot of pop psychology books in the library lately :)

[shiftedshape]

And yet I can understand where some of them are coming from already.
I'm beginning to think none of us are as special as we'd hope.
Which might be why we were chosen to be here together.
When will I discover you've secretly been a princess all along?

[expectaspectre]

that might be the best thing we can do for them in some situations
just being there and relating and showing people they aren't alone
or at least not as alone as they think
trust is the first step to giving people hope

a princess ! that job would be too much for me
all that attention sounds like a nightmare
plus my parents are the last people who should be trusted to care for a nation
they're not big on altruism

... wait are you a princess

[shiftedshape]

Self-centered parents. That sounds familiar.

Well, most recently I was king, actually. Kind of. The circumstances were complicated.
But I was raised by one king and heir to another, yes.
And at the moment I guess princess is more accurate than prince, though I've never actually been called that.

[expectaspectre]

goodness
that seems like a lot of pressure on you

you mentioned being heir to a king you weren't raised by
were you adopted ?
you don't have to answer i'm just curious
i've never met royalty before :)

[shiftedshape]

Yes. He stole me as a baby and pretended I was his son.
"Adopted" is close enough.

[expectaspectre]

[ every single thing that Grace learns about Loki's life is more eventful than the last. ]

ah

that explains some things

when did you realize you could be a girl ?

[shiftedshape]

Shortly after I learned to shapeshift at all.
It's sort of the obvious first thing to try, once you've managed the shape of a person.
It came easy, but it wouldn't have been accepted if I was suspected to enjoy it, so I didn't take this shape very often.

[expectaspectre]

that's a shame

you're very pretty :)

[shiftedshape]

[If any more people say that, Loki will start to worry everyone is being too nice.

...But hearing it from Grace is nice.]

Thank you.
I think I'll be indulging pretty often, here.