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TRAVEL ADVISORY

[At precisely 7 A.M. on the Peregrine's standard time, both CommLink screens and wardens' cabin control panels flicker to life with a live video stream.

The Navarch herself stands in the observatory. Outer space ahead is just stars with a thin yellow streak of light across the middle.]

Good morning, passengers.

Tomorrow we will be passing through an asteroid belt. Our shields are quite formidable and built for navigating these occasional obstacles, but you may notice slight vibrations, tremors, and adjustments through the Peregrine's systems to accommodate the additional power needed for full operation. It is my hope that these fluctuations will be almost entirely unnoticeable, but as this is the ship's first astroid field since its recommissioning, it may be more turbulent than usual.

[A beatific smile.]

When I passed through my first asteroid field, I found it difficult to sleep. If it eludes you as it did me, reflect upon that some cultures consider one's first passage through these circumstances a rite everyone must take at least once in their life. What it means varies from culture to culture, but perhaps you will discover what it means to you.

And if you still cannot sleep, see the infirmary; I trust we have a warden capable of dispensing sleep aids.

[They will, however, give users incredibly exuberant technicolor dreams about cartoon unicorns. An inconvenient side effect, but sleep is sleep.]

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we don't choose the lives we're given
we can only make the best of what's there

i'm sure in his own way he's just doing the same but was dealt a much different hand than one we find bearable

but yes he's being an ass needlessly

[Don't you be all understanding and shit, Bucky. It makes Claire feel like an asshole, so here's her attempt to be nicer:]

I'm sure some inmate will be a good match for a warden with his personality.

( and here he was directly calling william an ass! )

you know i do wonder if they let wardens who aren't ready into the position if they simply find them amenable enough
i wouldn't doubt if it's some means to test the circumstances either, especially if he is a former inmate
it's entirely possible his graduation was a turning point but that his assignment as a warden thereafter is a test of it rather than an affirmation

i know someone else who's also had a conversion from inmate to warden but they're taking to it much better so it makes me think

That's a lot of words to say he might not be the best example of a warden. I do want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Those that have been through it have valuable experience.

Do you mean Loki?

it's more than just that though
yes, they want inmates to succeed, but can't it also be a test to see if they really have?
and anyway, the whole inmate program is about growing as a person
if he's new he's still growing
you can't expect a scab to form and heal overnight

( unless you're bucky and have a special serum, but details. )

yeah
you've talked to him?

I think everyone is always growing as a person. You're over a hundred and I'm sure you've experienced notable growth within the past five, ten years. Right? No one is ever stagnant.

I have. I picked his brain a bit about what he thought made a good warden.

well yeah
not saying no one else is
but i just mean william's probably got some growing pains still going on so
idk i'd need a few more months to get a better idea first

he's a fascinating guy with a lot of potential
i'd want to pick his brain on a lot of things tbh

Maybe he'll warm up to us.

I like talking to him. We'll have to take turns getting him to talk.

yeah we'll see
sorry for worrying you
baby is also the dumbest endearment I really don't get why he asked me that

yeah he's nice to talk to
i might have an easier chance doing that though since i know him
sort of

There are worse he could have chosen.

You "sort of" know Loki?

dare i ask?

never met him directly but we're from the same universe
i'm very familiar with his past as it pertains to earth

Oh, just about all the ones any husband might take issue with hearing. That's all I need say.

I'm assuming that past might be why he was an inmate?

fair
look, it's not that i don't understand where william is coming from but the fact of the matter is he has no idea who i am, what i've been through, or where i'm coming from
i doubt he can imagine the half of it if his main concern is dignity but you were there during the war too so i'm sure you already have an idea
except the war wasn't even the worst for me

certainly part of it but personally i don't think he should have been judged by some of it

It breaks my heart to hear that, James. [Because even so many years removed from the war, she still has nightmares. Moments. The other wars, too--but that was her first.] I'm sorry.

Will it change my opinion of him if I ask you what happened?

( he wants to say it's okay, but he knows it's not. it's not even the most elegant sort of lie to tell claire anyway, with how genuine she's been with him since the start. it takes him a bit before he figures out how to respond. )

even so, i'm glad it was me and not anyone else
i wouldn't wish it on anyone no matter what they've done or who they are

i don't think it would
i think you'd understand enough to see the truth of it rather than read it in broad strokes as most others might
but i think it's still his story to tell
even what i know isn't from his own words, but i'd rather hear it in his own words now that i have the chance to

I consider us friends by now, with our parallels such as they are. I hope I don't need to tell you that if there are ever things you wish to talk about, I'm here.

I thought you'd say something like that. I'll ask if the time's right.

i think of you as one too, with the same also extended. since we're still new friends, i feel i need to explain that i haven't told a soul about any of it before, and i already intend to take it all to my grave, but if there's anything else, you'd be the first to know

[Jesus. Well... at least he's honest.]

I had no intention of making an attempt to pry anything out of you, don't worry.

i know
you're too kind for that

what i went through isn't something i'd wish on my greatest enemy though
so sharing that, even just as details, to someone i care about is no reprieve

[All he's doing is making her more curious. Unfortunately, she's all too familiar with terrible things being done to people, and how that leaves them after the fact. It strikes a familiar note.]

You don't need to justify anything to me, James. I understand.

i know
i know it probably makes you wonder even more what the hell happened too
it's only natural

but i'm saying it because i respect you enough to tell you where the line is
it's not about justifying it so much as telling you why wondering is a meaningless exercise and the present matters more

Wondering isn't really something I can control, but I respect you enough to not cross the line I now know exists. I'll just leave it as I'm sorry you've had to endure so much, even after the war, but you seem like a nice man regardless. That's admirable.

my ma taught me right
and having seen the worst, it seems like a waste to add on to it anymore i guess

not really worth engaging a lot of the shit stirring going on around here either, but i'm human and still get bored enough sometimes

If only you had a neighbor with some common ground to hang out with when bored.

haha
i might just start hanging around in warden command more

i think we could all use some face time
easier to work with people you've spent real time with

maybe that's what william needs

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nineteenfortyfive - 2022-01-22 20:29 (UTC) - Expand

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counterstep - 2022-01-22 20:40 (UTC) - Expand

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