l.odinson | Missive 001

[shiftedshape]

[Loki's having trouble sleeping. The turbulence has his heart racing and stomach dropping with every sudden motion, and while he knows the likely reason why, he's not about to admit it. And while the Navarch's offer of medication is kind, he's not so certain he wants to knock himself out entirely while he's paired with his current inmate.

So he's up. And tense. And looking for a distraction. Perhaps he's not alone.]

Is anyone else awake? I'm not one for pills, unfortunately, so I haven't managed a single wink. And now I am just terribly bored.

Who's up for a chat? We're all still fairly new here, after all. Can't hurt to share the basics with the group, yes?

For example: Why are you here? Or why do you *think* you're here, at any rate. That should get us through the rest of the night on its own, for some of you.

But I also have time to hear all about your tragic childhoods and major regrets, if you'd like. Might as well get started on graduations while we've got the extra time. And what better time for baring your soul during a bout of insomnia?

Comments

[sanctus_dei]

I don't know. Maybe. I don't remember anything from after I was dead til I woke up here.

Considering how hard I'm craving a smoke and a drink, hurling myself out into the vacuum of space does sometimes seem like the better option

What does it matter

[shiftedshape]

Figuring out why you in particular were chosen to be an inmate can make graduation considerably easier.

I don't think it's just identifying your crimes, though that can be more difficult than it sounds. Knowing what it is about you that can be useful to the universe makes the prospect of being alive again a little more encouraging, at the very least.

[sanctus_dei]

I think someone made a grave mistake in choosing me

Pun absolutely not fucking intended

They broadcasted my crime for everyone to see on my name badge for everyone to see, and if any of you fuckers think i'm redeemable after that, you're more fucked up than i am

[shiftedshape]

Those who do great damage are often wielders of great power and influence, first.
Perhaps you just directed your talents in a less productive direction than you might be able to with some correction.

omg sorry for that redundant tag up there

[sanctus_dei]

what, are you going to tell me I need to switch my focus to something like gardening or whatever, after I've spent almost my whole life studying magic? the hell with that.

<3

[shiftedshape]

Hardly. As a sorcerer myself, I recognize what an immense waste that would be.
But so is using magic simply to do harm.
It never works out the way you think it will, anyway.

[sanctus_dei]

I don't just use it for harm, I use it for whatever I want.

where I'm from, a bunch of stuffy, cliquey fucks kept anyone they didn't want from studying magic by keeping a tight grip on all the knowledge. If you didn't have a way in through money or nepotism, forget it. I know, I tried for years

I was given this ability and I wasn't about to let those assholes dictate what I could and couldn't do, and I don't plan to let you people here do the same

They wanted me alive? Fine now you have to fucking deal with me

[shiftedshape]

For what it's worth, I had my magic suspended when I was an inmate as well.
As soon as I was paired with my warden, he gave it back to me.
And I hardly felt any difference.
I felt safer, maybe. More able to protect myself. But it wasn't as if I had changed at my core, with our without it.
Not really.
But I also managed to behave well enough not to have it taken away again because I'd hurt others.
Do you think you can do the same?
Because if "whatever you want" results in consistent harm of others, I rather think the magic isn't the issue.

[sanctus_dei]

[A warden who's relatable?! Here's something Theo never thought would happen.

There's a couple of minutes before the next response. Instead of acknowledging any of that, he asks a simple question]

you were an inmate?

[shiftedshape]

Yes. On another ship.

[sanctus_dei]

you did the whole graduation thing? and you chose to become a warden?

[He's having a hard time comprehending this.]

[shiftedshape]

Unfortunately, I don't think I can solve my universe's problems on my own.
A windfall will help.
And if I can help others on the way, that's just a bonus.

[sanctus_dei]

so do you think this system actually works, or did you just want the payoff

[shiftedshape]

I think it can. Perhaps not for everyone or to the same extent, of course.
But getting a break from your reality puts a lot of things in perspective.
Gives you time to think.
Of course I want the windfall, but it wouldn't make much sense to come here if I didn't think earning it would be possible.

[sanctus_dei]

[Learning this has really thrown a wrench into the works for Theo. Hard to baselessly claim this system could never work when you have a graduate right here. One who decided to join as a warden, even.]

do any inmates never graduate?

[shiftedshape]

Hard to say that for certain.
Some disappeared without warning, ungraduated.
But some of those people then came back for a second go of it.
And there were some who were inmates when I got there and still inmates when I left.
I can't say that ship was typical, though.

[sanctus_dei]

i guess we don't really have many other ships to compare it to.

[There's so much going through his head now. He has so many questions, so many worries. So many things keeping him awake at night.]

i bet there are lifetime inmates out there. not everyone is going to be fit to graduate. i wonder how long it is until the Admiralty just gives up and sends you back.

[shiftedshape]

Presumably they dint choose those people in the first place.
If you're here you must have something to offer your world or else it'd be a waste for everyone.

[sanctus_dei]

everyone makes mistakes. even very powerful important people who think they're doing good things.

[shiftedshape]

Exactly.
Perhaps you're among that number.
Perhaps you could do good in different circumstances.
Or if you learned to meet your circumstances more productively.

[sanctus_dei]

[If only he could agree with that.]

or perhaps you do something people aren't going to forgive you for

that the only way to change your circumstances were if you were never there to begin with

what then

[shiftedshape]

You do know you don't have to go back to exactly where you were, yes?
You could start fresh with what you've learned.
Do good in the world some new way.

[sanctus_dei]

[He hasn't considered that. There's a pause.]

then did that mean they've fixed what happened back where i'm from?

either way i'm not going back there but if they're waiting on me to do that, they're wasting time

[shiftedshape]

I believe the only thing that is fixed is your death.
It's up to you to work on anything else.
And maybe that means leaving. Living a life somewhere else. Where you can do good.
I don't think anyone is waiting for you to fix every single mistake you ever made.

[sanctus_dei]

i don't know. what if i don't really that. i didn't ask for this. someone made this decision for me.

i really just don't know.

[He's tired. The constant anger and grief is exhausting.]