01 : text : grace.g

[expectaspectre]

[ Grace actually got here a while ago. Apart from a brief encounter with one guy by the inmate cells, she's been drifting around, invisible. Watching. Not talking to anyone, just observing. One guy got handcuffed to the cafeteria tables. It very much reinforced her resolve about staying invisible for a little while.

But she hadn't been lazy-- Her first goal was to raid the research library to find some stuff written by people who are way, WAY more experienced than her about this whole situation. She's spent the past few days reading in her room.

Probably now that she's more acclimatized, it'll be an okay time to try to communicate. Safer. Via text. ]

hello

since arriving here i've been trying to read more about what the experts in the field recommend to assist with prisoner rehabilitation and reintegration. a lot of it seems... difficult to implement, at least immediately

but one of the things they discuss is the option of Group Therapy and i was just wondering if there was anything like that already available

it seems like it could be helpful

Comments

[expectaspectre]

that's okay

nobody wants you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing
that wouldn't help anybody

but maybe it might help you ?

[omniavincit]

have any wardens volunteered

or do they just want to subject inmates to it

[expectaspectre]

claire mentioned she might be able to moderate

james mentioned having an in-person meeting to discuss further
he wants me to come

i'm thinking about it

[omniavincit]

[ A familiar suffocating sensation: the anger, tight in his chest, he felt during those last days on the Barge. Nowhere to go.

It's useful, he reminds himself, to remember. ] get a firm yes or no, wardens hate committing to shit

i don't trust claire. she tells people what they want to hear and treats inmates as objects of fascination.

just talking to her makes me feel like i'm going insane.

[expectaspectre]

[ Gosh! And Claire had been so nice to her... Interpersonal relationships on this spaceship are pretty complicated for everyone having only been here a month so far. This is gonna be a lot to navigate for someone who spends 99% of her time on the outside looking in. ]

do you think she has ulterior motives ?

i mean negative ones specifically
we all have our reasons for being here
obviously

[omniavincit]

[ 🪦 ]

shes been real cagey with me

politely, of course. she knows i don't like her, im not here to play mind games. a lot of wardens, once they know that your opinion doesnt count for shit.

ime the problem isnt motive or intent, its an unwillingness to give up anything. control comfort ego etc. we should be willing to change, or whats the fucking point? how can we ask it of them? and ready to sacrifice for the inmates.

[expectaspectre]

that all makes perfect sense to me

we should be modeling the kind of behavior we are asking for
transparency and respect are the least we can do :)

[omniavincit]

[ He does not make a transparency joke. Maybe in a few months. ]

if you ever have to choose between me and an inmate, choose the inmate ok

[expectaspectre]

[ ba dum tschh ]

well
i will try
if that is what you want

[ :( but por que no los dos??? ]

[omniavincit]

[ Thanks, he'll be here until everyone unanimously tells him to fuck off!! Don't forget to tip your cleaning bot. ]

more than anything

and tell me when i fuck up.

[expectaspectre]

as long as you promise not to take it personally

that tends to happen
because of my whole thing

[omniavincit]

nah. im here for them, im just shitty at it [ How to make that sound less morose and self-pitying? Ah: ] :)

i dont think i even know a quarter of your thing

[expectaspectre]

[ Somehow it's dorky when William does it tho. True dad energy. ]

probably not
you know more than just about everybody else here

... please don't tell anybody by the way
people really won't trust me if they know i can walk through walls and that's hard to come back from

[ Yes, that's a thing she knows from experience. Ah, the old pains. ]

[omniavincit]

i wont
but its incredible

[ After a pause: ] you should know, you dont have to tell inmates all your secrets. you can save things for yourself.
but its important not to shut them out.

[expectaspectre]

[ ...Oh. c: ]

it's hard to gauge how much of myself is enough
"less is more" works best with most people
well
normal people

people here aren't normal
that makes it difficult
inmates are going to need things from me
how do we know where the line is between help and endangering ?