text // aq. // 01

[helenite]

so is every1 here dead ?



[[ WARDEN FILTER ]]

hi im alice. any1 want my gun ?

Comments

[rank1]

Oh, yeah. That's long-haul shit. Most people never get to a real fight because they can't even commit to training. Those people get cut down so fast they could have just made getting in shape their New Years resolution and gone back to their lives.

[helenite]

ok so humour me. thot experiment:

- guy trains his whole life. super scary. catches flies in midair. but he gets hit by a bus 1 day walking 2 his dojo or gym or w/e

- other guy doesnt put any work in. but he gets lucky. lives thru a few fights, then som1 at his same lvl kills him

which 1s the warrior ?

[rank1]

The first one. Being at the top of your potential and having ambition doesn't mean you're immune to freak accidents. Hell, it's a fucking tragedy. I'd mourn the last fight he never got to have. Carry him with me when I went into a battle of my own. Who knows? Maybe people like us don't rest unless we die in the heat of battle.

But the second guy... luck isn't shit. He's just a loser who got murked by another loser.

[helenite]

so what matters isnt the fight at all then

its the between parts

[rank1]

Fuck no! The guy who didn't get his warrior's death lives like a warrior

every

fucking

day.

There's a bit of that fight in everything he does.

[helenite]

yeah. & he never had 2 kill ne1

[rank1]

You're making up different shit about this guy than I am. Nobody gets to the top without bloodshed.

[helenite]

look

what r u doin 4 training here

[rank1]

Why, you a personal trainer?

[helenite]

basically the opposite

but if ur going 2 live like a warrior u should b doing smthg & i want 2 help

[rank1]

Cool. Let me know when and where.

[omniavincit]

You never answered his question.

[ #wardenpetpeeves ]

[helenite]

which ?

[omniavincit]

"Was it bad?"

[helenite]

well it wasnt an accident.

[omniavincit]

Was there bloodshed?

[helenite]

[ she starts typing, stops. once, then a few times: i think i killed a kid, ]

Yes.

[ this time she doesn't go back, undo the autocorrect. freezes on that small ritual of insistence (lowercase, casual, a quick chat on AIM) ]

[rank1]

But you fought, right? You didn't just let them take your life from you?

[helenite]

[ a pause, again. that singing high (the moment) retreated before it really began. pride: feels crass to feel for it now, empty as her hands are. feels like reaching for the wrong branch, ]

I took them with me.

[ waiting for the limb to crack. ]

[rank1]

[He rarely thinks before he types, and here is no exception. The reply comes back immediately.]

Fucking coward.

[helenite]

[ this one's longer. ten minutes maybe, fifteen. when she finally replies: ]

may b thats y im here

[rank1]

[He hates the silence. Drives him crazy. Almost makes him want to stalk the ship until he finds whoever this person is. Tap people on shoulders: AQ? Hey, are you AQ?

When she finally replies, he's almost relieved. Even faster:]

For killing someone because you're too much of a coward to lose? Yeah maybe the navarch has a thing about that

[helenite]

yeah

so y r u ?

[rank1]

Who knows! Maybe I jaywalked too many times. Maybe I didn’t pay the IRS. Maybe because I’m an assassin. Anyone’s guess.

[helenite]

so death & taxes