video | t.crawford

[sanctus_dei]

[Hello, good morning. Theo has Some Opinions to share about what occurred this week and he's loudly going to tell you about them. Once the dizziness and nausea wear off, anyway.

While the more minute details now escape him, a few key events stand out in his mind, that particularly of his death in Area X. He's probably one of the first ones to return from the sim as well, not very well equipped either in his real life nor in the sim for wilderness survival in such a hostile environment.]

Hey, Navarch? What the fuck was that?! How fucking dare you pull something like this with little warning and no choice! Did you people think this was going to be done kinda cute trip through the woods or something? What was the point to any of it?! Just to mentally torture us?

I hope you fucking choke. And same goes to any wardens who thought this was a good idea and went along with it. Fuck all of you.

Comments

text | l.odinson

[shiftedshape]

I believe the purpose is perspective, as horrible as the settings can sometimes be.
And here, at least, it *is* optional. That wasn't the case on my previous ship at all.
But I suppose we all just wanted to see what would happen.
It's not as if any of us knew what to expect specifically.
Next time, you can ask a warden to take you off ship for the duration.

[sanctus_dei]

i'm sorry but what perspective would that be? "gee sure glad that a mutant wildcat didn't eat my face in real life, that sure would've been a downer"?

my memories were used against me in order to get "me" to participate in visiting Area X. and now that we're back all i can remember are the worst parts. the most painful ones. yeah really great perspective they've given me here

and fine, i will. everyone should fucking leave, in protest.

[shiftedshape]

That of someone with a different life. Someone who handled a significant situation differently because they had been shaped differently.
But not so differently that you can't see yourself in it.

I agree that it is easier to remember the worst, but I think that perhaps reflects on us as people. I tend towards pessimism and ignoring the good because that can be just as painful. But I *can* remember the good. I'm sure you can too.

[sanctus_dei]

there was no good. in some ways it was worse than real life. but i guess it's good to know that the other me was just as bad at living his life as i was. great.

[shiftedshape]

It sounds like that means you can reflect on your own life in a better light than before.
Which isn't nothing, honestly.
Perspective is hard won, more often than not.
It speeds the process considerably to live another life directly.

[Especially when you're. Very young.]

[sanctus_dei]

isn't this why i was dragged back to life and brought here to start with? why add on this bullshit on top of it

is it that we deserve to feel more like shit then we already do?

[shiftedshape]

And how much reflecting are you doing, day-to-day?
Or do you spend most of your time whinging?

[sanctus_dei]

okay great the next time they put us though mental torture i'll be sure to slap on my biggest smile and welcome it with open arms.

[shiftedshape]

I didn't say you had to enjoy it.
The things we learn the most from are often unpleasant.
But not always.
I made friends via those shared experiences too.

[sanctus_dei]

i don't make friends normally, i don't think this is going to help.

[shiftedshape]

And I'm sure your attitude had nothing to do with that.
Maybe an alternate version of you might be more friendly and capable of bonding with others.
That'd give you a little head start.

[sanctus_dei]

but that wouldn't be me. it'd be fake me in the sim. i don't think that's the kind of thing you learn. it's not like teaching someone math or spelling.

[shiftedshape]

It was still a real experience.
And while it's rather false, one *can* learn behavior like manners.
Genuine camaraderie isn't so different that one can't learn the steps from observation.
The simulation offers actual experiences on top of that.
Not to mention all the things you can do that you might never be able to in your normal life.

[sanctus_dei]

[Tough to keep arguing against this when it's so damn sensible.]

it probably would have been much more interesting to be someone who totally wasn't me then. this was pretty close. and changing just enough key details to be very nerve wracking.

at least being someone with a different life wouldn't have felt so targeted. so pointed.

[shiftedshape]

True.
Although perhaps some of the lesson is how you can find similarities to yourself in almost anyone's life.
I've been human in all the simulations I have experienced which does seem to be a lesson for me personally.
But I was still close enough to myself to feel it was real enough to matter.