un: jimothy

[doppleman]

[ This audio stream starts off very quietly but crescendos into the scuffling and faint mutterings that can only come from someone fiddling with an unfamiliar piece of technology. ]

—oddamn device always juuuust a little bit different, proprietary pieces of sh—oh, and how 'bout that, it's recording. Uhhhh, welp, okay, let's see, um.

[ All at once the video flicks on, revealing a masked face that is way too close to the camera. He lurches away as if he's seen a monster, shoots the commlink an irritated glare, and it goes dark once more. ]

Frickin'—heeeeelllllllllooo... uh, people. This is, heh, 's not really the entrance I was planning to make, but when life hands you skin, you make a pizza, amirite? That's. Never mind. Real quick question, is there any way to change the ID on this thing.

Hey know what, matter of fact, while I've got you, does anyone around here have experience reversing experimental and extremely invasive surgeries?

[ Soon as the question's out of his mouth, he's sounding progressively more defeated. ]

Could–could really do with a change.

Comments

[sanctus_dei]

"Jimothy" is a force of habit?

Look, we have people here with some out-there names, how would I know otherwise?

[doppleman]

I mean, I got hired to be a guy named Jack, so... officially declared dead, legally forbidden to tell anyone my real name, you know how it is. Blah blah, corporate red tape, blah blah.

[sanctus_dei]

so your great pseudonym was "Jimothy"?

[Dang are you entertaining already.]

and what does that matter here? the only Jack we have here is a woman, and i don't think she's your boss. wait - did you not die before coming here? you only faked your death?

[doppleman]

I didn't say it had to be good, it just... couldn't be mine. But yeah, I've been introducing myself as Timothy for a little while and my face hasn't exploded yet, sooooo Timothy it is!

[ But okay. Woman named Jack here. He actually truly appreciates the heads up about that—might save him a pair of pants later on.

Tim tries thinking back to his last moments in the Handsome Jackpot, but it's kind of a blur. ]

Nah, pretty sure I got totally merked. Had a guy trying to get his greasy little fun-sized mitts on my hand. Wasn't too concerned about whether I was, you know. Still attached to the thing.

[sanctus_dei]

[There's a pause before he responds. There's a lot to take in there.]

why would your face explode

[doppleman]

[ A sizable pause, after which he sounds extraordinarily weary.]

's complicated, kiddo.

[ Is it? ]

Point being... y'know, this place actually doesn't seem half-bad.

[sanctus_dei]

i'll fucking bet.

and this place is garbage, don't let the fact that it's in space fool you.

and my name is Theo, not kiddo.

[Half the people here already call him "kid", and "kiddo" is even worse.]

[doppleman]

Right right, sorry, ki— [ frustrated rrgh ] Theo. Gets a little... hard to turn off sometimes.

Anyway, that's not what's fooling me. Place I just came from, we had a whole district called Trashlantis.

[sanctus_dei]

well that does sound pretty shitty. maybe i'll call this place the Trashtanic since it's a big ship.

you're lucky, you just missed out on some mental torture they called a "sim" and tried to tell us it'd be good for us. it'll probably happen again some time though, so be ready for that.

[doppleman]

Ha! Trashtanic... priceless.

[ You take levity where you can get it.

Wait what ]

Uh sorry, sim whatnow?

[sanctus_dei]

they sent us into i guess what you can say was a parallel life inside a realistic simulation? long story short: it was terrible and i think almost everyone died in it. it was manipulative and unnecessary, as if getting dragged onto a prison ship after our deaths wasn't punishment enough. and they even made the wardens do it.

[doppleman]

Oh! C...ool! [ It is not very cool. ]

Iiii dunno though, still can't be worse than where I was. I've only died once so far, for one thing, and it wasn't here.

[sanctus_dei]

i told you this place is terrible. who knows what they're cooking up for us next - they said this is the first one. and we have a couple of wardens that used to be prisoners on a different ship who'd been through a bunch of them.

maybe where you came from was bad but you should at least know what you're getting into here.

[doppleman]

Right, duly noted.

[ Even if he does not sound at all convinced of the overall awfulness of this place. ]

Honestly though, I appreciate it. The heads up, I mean. Don't really see too much of that anymore—not, not because people suck or anything, like. Well, plenty of people suck a lot, but plenty don't! Just usually they're, you know, dead before they can... share the wealth.

Soooooo... thanks?