004; video; l.morningstar

[dealwiththe]

[ Hey look, it's Lucifer on ~video~ today. He's looking and sounding as earnest as anything - there's no way to misconstrue what he's doing here as anything other than completely in good faith. It's not a joke, not a troll, not snide or cynical. ]

I know from long experience that ignoring and bottling up the painful things that happen isn't good for anyone. I'm available to talk to, if anyone needs it. If not me, then I hope you'll talk to someone.

I'm not just talking about inmates, either.

[ He says all this, knowing the kinds of responses (or lack of responses) he's likely to get. He thinks it's important to make the offer, regardless. ]

Comments

Lmk if you want to change conversation topics or handwave, it’s gnarly

[rank1]

I only fight other killers. That wouldn’t cut it for dear old Dad — the guy had a hard-on for the innocent. He’s probably swapping notes with Ted Bundy and the fucking Zodiac Killer in Hell right now.

[Something occurs to him:]

Have you met those guys? They’re in Hell, right?

no worries!

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer gets that sort of question a lot, honestly. Do you know Ted Bundy? What's Hitler's Hell loop like? It's par for the course. ]

I'm much more interested in this whole - difference, between you and your father. Is that why you only kill those you've decided are "worthy"? Because you're trying not to be him?

[rank1]

A bit of that, but I'm honest about it, too. I'm not pretending to be a hardworking family man or a respected member of society. I don't feel fuckin' entitled to kill people for my own sick pleasure.

[dealwiththe]

Honesty is something, I'll give you that. It's rare.

[ Speaking as one painfully honest man to another. But - ]

But you still feel entitled to kill.

[rank1]

I kill people who get the same thrill out of dying at the hands of a skilled warrior that I would. [His own moments, the ones where he's nearly lost, feel like outliers.] Some of 'em are even grateful.

[dealwiththe]

That's still entitlement, so I hope that wasn't you trying to explain to me otherwise. Perhaps you're more like your father than you think.

[rank1]

[Wound thoroughly salted. Clipped:]

How the fuck is it entitled to take what is being offered, with the same bet placed? My life's on the line same as theirs.

[dealwiththe]

You spend a lot of time trying to justify it, that's for sure. Who are you trying to convince, really?

[ Lucifer scoffs. ]

I'm sure your father would try to justify it, too. They all do. You all do. You asked if I've met any of them - I have, most of them. And yes, they are all in Hell, still trying to justify it.

[rank1]

[Travis crosses the room to where Lucifer is, getting right up in his face.]

Well hey, at least I know where I'm goin', huh? And I didn't even need therapy to learn that. But I asked you a fucking question: how is it entitled if we're both all-in?

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer just... sighs. ]

Because, Travis. Killing is wrong. It's as simple as that. I'd think, if nothing else, you being an inmate here should've impressed that upon you. But, the justifications continue.

[rank1]

That's not entitled, that's just saying something that's wrong, which is bullshit. Every other movie has the protagonist killing hundreds of guys. Half the video games out there uses killing as a mechanic. Hell, every year, guys get flown overseas to blow each other up, and people who kill innocents get a slap on the wrist. Some people hunt just to survive. You can't say that shit is simple.

[dealwiththe]

Yes, it is that simple. People do bad things to each other all the time. That doesn't make it not bad. It's a choice - a choice you've made, to take lives. That's always entitled.

[ There is nothing but steady, firm conviction behind what Lucifer says. ]

[rank1]

And you've never killed someone?

[dealwiththe]

Yes, I have. And it was wrong when I did it, too.

[ What, was Travis expecting more justifications???? No. Lucifer just looks... regretful. ]

[rank1]

So what? You went to therapy and decided to rub your own nose in it?

[dealwiththe]

No, actually. The therapy helped me deal with my guilt about it. But you do need to acknowledge your guilt, first.

[rank1]

I know what I did. Why do I have to feel guilty about it? I'm fucking retired, bro, I could go the rest of my life without killing as much as a fly and feeling guilty wouldn't change shit.

[dealwiththe]

Acknowledging your guilt is the first step to truly taking responsibility for your actions, and making better choices.

[ Lucifer sits back a little on his bench. ]

Or were you already making better choices, in this retirement of yours?

[ Something tells him not. ]

[rank1]

Sure was, though I bet they weren't better choices by whatever the hell your standards are.

[dealwiththe]

Try me.

[rank1]

Sure! I took down the whole fucking organization that handles all this assassin shit, and I walked. My biggest priority now is avoiding fights and making sure my wife’s happy. That might not be enough for some of you but it’s as clean as I’ll ever get.

[dealwiththe]

Well, you definitely haven't been avoiding fights since being here. Sounds like you have some more self-examination to do, Travis.

[ Lucifer snorts faintly. There is clearly more to this, but he suspects that's all he's getting for now. ]

[rank1]

Bro, I could be cutting off heads. I've been keeping it real fucking clean, all things considered. What else do you want from me?

[dealwiththe]

You're far from the only one here who could be cutting off heads. Some of us hold ourselves to higher standards. Maybe that's your problem.

[rank1]

[Travis gives a frustrated flap of his arms.]

Jeez, this place is a trip. I've got wardens on all sides pissed off that I'm not a fucking Nobel Prize winner to begin with, and then pissed that I'm not making an effort, and then pissed that I'm not making enough effort. Give me a fucking hoop to jump through, then!