01 : text : grace.g

[expectaspectre]

[ Grace actually got here a while ago. Apart from a brief encounter with one guy by the inmate cells, she's been drifting around, invisible. Watching. Not talking to anyone, just observing. One guy got handcuffed to the cafeteria tables. It very much reinforced her resolve about staying invisible for a little while.

But she hadn't been lazy-- Her first goal was to raid the research library to find some stuff written by people who are way, WAY more experienced than her about this whole situation. She's spent the past few days reading in her room.

Probably now that she's more acclimatized, it'll be an okay time to try to communicate. Safer. Via text. ]

hello

since arriving here i've been trying to read more about what the experts in the field recommend to assist with prisoner rehabilitation and reintegration. a lot of it seems... difficult to implement, at least immediately

but one of the things they discuss is the option of Group Therapy and i was just wondering if there was anything like that already available

it seems like it could be helpful

Comments

[expectaspectre]

could you have found it helpful if you had participated genuinely ?

it's not for everyone i'm sure
but i think it might help some people to know they're not alone

[omniavincit]

maybe. idk. maybe not. i didn't do anything genuinely, was the problem

you can't think of another way?

[expectaspectre]

there's lots of ways
individually

but if we want to foster community it could be good for everybody
share the load you know ?

[omniavincit]

im not a therapist

im maybe the last person

i dont want to act like this is something its not

or we can give them something we cant

[expectaspectre]

but why not try everything we can ?

since we're all here now anyway

[omniavincit]

it's so easy to fuck up

[expectaspectre]

well
you make mistakes so you can learn from them
and do better the next time

:)

private

[omniavincit]

i really fucked someone up

on purpose

[expectaspectre]

[ Oh. Well. ]

why ?

[omniavincit]

hurt someone i love. i couldnt let it go. [ Today in: incredible understatements! ]

theres no undoing it

[expectaspectre]

if it happened again, would you let it go this time ?

[omniavincit]

[ Maybe if she'd phrased it another way, maybe the answer would be different, but... ] no

[expectaspectre]

then the reason wasn't the problem

you went too far ?

1/2

[omniavincit]

yeah

but fuck him

2/2

[omniavincit]

anyway

i dont trust myself with this.

[expectaspectre]

that's okay

nobody wants you to do anything you don't feel comfortable doing
that wouldn't help anybody

but maybe it might help you ?

[omniavincit]

have any wardens volunteered

or do they just want to subject inmates to it

[expectaspectre]

claire mentioned she might be able to moderate

james mentioned having an in-person meeting to discuss further
he wants me to come

i'm thinking about it

[omniavincit]

[ A familiar suffocating sensation: the anger, tight in his chest, he felt during those last days on the Barge. Nowhere to go.

It's useful, he reminds himself, to remember. ] get a firm yes or no, wardens hate committing to shit

i don't trust claire. she tells people what they want to hear and treats inmates as objects of fascination.

just talking to her makes me feel like i'm going insane.

[expectaspectre]

[ Gosh! And Claire had been so nice to her... Interpersonal relationships on this spaceship are pretty complicated for everyone having only been here a month so far. This is gonna be a lot to navigate for someone who spends 99% of her time on the outside looking in. ]

do you think she has ulterior motives ?

i mean negative ones specifically
we all have our reasons for being here
obviously

[omniavincit]

[ 🪦 ]

shes been real cagey with me

politely, of course. she knows i don't like her, im not here to play mind games. a lot of wardens, once they know that your opinion doesnt count for shit.

ime the problem isnt motive or intent, its an unwillingness to give up anything. control comfort ego etc. we should be willing to change, or whats the fucking point? how can we ask it of them? and ready to sacrifice for the inmates.

[expectaspectre]

that all makes perfect sense to me

we should be modeling the kind of behavior we are asking for
transparency and respect are the least we can do :)

[omniavincit]

[ He does not make a transparency joke. Maybe in a few months. ]

if you ever have to choose between me and an inmate, choose the inmate ok

[expectaspectre]

[ ba dum tschh ]

well
i will try
if that is what you want

[ :( but por que no los dos??? ]

[omniavincit]

[ Thanks, he'll be here until everyone unanimously tells him to fuck off!! Don't forget to tip your cleaning bot. ]

more than anything

and tell me when i fuck up.