text // aq. // 01

[helenite]

so is every1 here dead ?



[[ WARDEN FILTER ]]

hi im alice. any1 want my gun ?

Comments

[smugreport]

That's the thing, no one will tell me! I committed like, mild tax fraud, some shady deals here and there, but nothing worth putting me in intergalactic jail for. The entire division in the L wing has pulled kinda stuff and they're not all here.

[helenite]

i dont think ne1 i kno pays taxes

[ no one she knows makes any income. ]

would it b better if they were here ? the others

[smugreport]

That's not the issue, it's that it's you know. Unjust? Only I get in trouble for the thing thousands of people do every year? And in like, a really disproportionate way.

[helenite]

does kind of make u special

[smugreport]

[ Look, much as he'd love for that to be the case... ]

Thaaaat's not what I'd call it. If they thought I was special they'd have made me a warden, I'm more like...I dunno, a scape goat.

[helenite]

better than a sheep

[ she means that literally, actually. fuck sheep. 0/10 animal ]

the wardens r special ?

[smugreport]

I mean, they get special treatment. They get their own cabins, and can go wherever they want on the ship. They probably have a jacuzzi with a full liquor bar somewhere behind one of those locked doors.

[helenite]

theres booz but u hav 2 pay 4 it. is that what u miss ?

[smugreport]

Wait, wardens get money?!

[helenite]

seems mor like an xpens tally ? i think its there to keep ppl from drinking 2 much

[smugreport]

That is so unfair.

Wait.

If you're a warden, can you bring inmates with you? You in the market for a drinking buddy?

[helenite]

no luck buddy

theres a sign

[smugreport]

Signs only matter to people who can read.

[helenite]

hmm

can you read ?

[smugreport]

Thaaat depends who's asking. I can't not not read.

[helenite]

y do u want in ther so bad ne way

[smugreport]

If you were stuck on a ship hurling through the depths of space without your consent, you'd want a drink once and a while too.

[helenite]

tbh i want 1 already

r u an alcoholic or ne thing ? pinky swear

[smugreport]

I swear on my real pinky that I'm only a social drinker.

[helenite]

uv got a fake ?

[smugreport]

Robotic.

[helenite]

which 1 do u like better ?

[smugreport]

Also robotic.

[ Even though his dominant is his left arm, robo one is cooler! ]

[helenite]

then no deal

im not taking a 2nd best pinky promise

[smugreport]

What? C'mon, using my real hand makes it more authentic right?