audio | interview with probably not a vampire

[omniavincit]

[ William jumps right in—unless they're brand new, most inmates should know his voice. It belongs to the guy who stays with them in the dorms and is usually out of bed before six in the morning. Maybe you recently heard it raised at Travis outside the commissary! ]

I spoke to the Navarch, and while it's almost unheard of for her to correspond with inmates, she's agreed to take questions on your behalf. I'll be sitting down with her and broadcasting the interview to the network.

For privacy and ease of organization [ and to minimize network arguments ] please message me directly with whatever you'd like asked. It can be anything, but I'd prefer it be interesting. If I have a problem with it I'll let you know.

[ This is not a threat, but it is wry. ]


[ WARDEN FILTER ]

We should pool our tickets.



[ ooc: TO AVOID A MILLION INBOX THREADS, just reply here with "private" in the subject line if you're sending William a question! Or ignore him and discuss shit publicly, I'm not the police. ]

Comments

l.morningstar | wardens

[dealwiththe]

[ Sent a few minutes later. ]

How many foam spouses could we come up with if we pooled them?

id: viktor / warden filter

[grindset]

Pass.

UN: waver.v / warden filter

[professor_charisma]

seconded

[dealwiththe]

You could divorce your foam spouse. Donate them to a needy inmate?

[professor_charisma]

Honestly, if Travis's keeps him from getting into trouble for at least an hour, I will buy him all the damned foam wives he could ever hope for.

[dealwiththe]

He *does* seem slightly less violent. I haven't considered the therapeutic possibilities until now. Thanks, Waver!

[professor_charisma]

"Therapeutic" is a very strong term here

[grindset]

Which is a better use of our budget?
1) an indeterminate number of decaying foam effigies
2) one sleep gun

[dealwiththe]

Each of us already *has* a gun.

[professor_charisma]

I'd rather get something *for* the inmates rather than to use against them, but I can't say I don't feel like it wouldn't be a bad idea sometimes.

Though maybe something less depressing than a foam spouse would be nice too.

[omniavincit]

First of all someone would have to have wanted to marry you.

[dealwiththe]

So sure of that, are you? I bet you're quite the catch, yourself.

[omniavincit]

[ No shit, I'm a murderer, he types out, but that's more information than this guy deserves. ]

How many tickets do you have?

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer, on the other hand, has no problem sharing information about himself! ]

Just one. You can have it, if you like. My partner wouldn’t appreciate me having a foam facsimile of her even if I was inclined to, so I have no need to bank it.

[omniavincit]

[ Fucking wardens wedging their significant others into every conversation... ]

I'll earmark it for a sleep gun.

grace.g

[expectaspectre]

please stop talking

[dealwiththe]

There's no requirement for you to participate in Foam Spouse Discourse, Miss Gibson.

[expectaspectre]

sorry i meant

please stop talking FOREVER

[dealwiththe]

That's not what I'd consider a reasonable accommodation. Sorry, but no can do.

[expectaspectre]

please stop talking to me forever

[nineteenfortyfive]

No.

[dealwiththe]

Doctor Claire! Here I was looking forward to meeting yours.

[nineteenfortyfive]

I don't think that would count.

[dealwiththe]

Fair. It'd probably only count if he could beat me at chess. Pretty sure a foam spouse can't do that.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Depends how bad at chess you are.