004; video; l.morningstar

[dealwiththe]

[ Hey look, it's Lucifer on ~video~ today. He's looking and sounding as earnest as anything - there's no way to misconstrue what he's doing here as anything other than completely in good faith. It's not a joke, not a troll, not snide or cynical. ]

I know from long experience that ignoring and bottling up the painful things that happen isn't good for anyone. I'm available to talk to, if anyone needs it. If not me, then I hope you'll talk to someone.

I'm not just talking about inmates, either.

[ He says all this, knowing the kinds of responses (or lack of responses) he's likely to get. He thinks it's important to make the offer, regardless. ]

Comments

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer lifts a shoulder in a half-shrug. ]

Could you have? Done something to make up for it, I mean.

[rank1]

What the hell makes up for that? It's not like killing the woman who killed her does shit to change what happened.

[dealwiththe]

True. You can't change what's already happened.

[ Lucifer rubs absently at his jaw, thinking. ]

How do you think she might've wanted you to make up for it?

[rank1]

[He opens his mouth to reply, but he doesn't know what the hell to say. He doesn't know what she'd think. Thinking about the possibilities is just a rabbit hole with no end.]

I don't think thinking about this shit does anything, bud. Who knows what she'd think? But I know I live a life where people die for a reason.

[dealwiththe]

I think you know what she'd think of how you live now. And it would matter if you let it. If you let her guide your decisions, even after her death, maybe her life would matter. To you, to others.

[ Lucifer squints at Travis for a moment. ]

So yeah, maybe thinking about this shit could do something. If you chose.

[rank1]

[Travis smiles. It feels defensive even to him.]

So what? I become a more well-adjusted person just because I listen to what my mommy tells me from beyond the grave? Say that shit aloud in the wrong company and guys'll come to put me in a padded cell.

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer rolls his eyes. ]

Yeah, except for all those people who actually do make decisions based on what they believe their dead loved ones would've wanted. You do know lots of people do that, right? Countless humans throughout the ages have modeled their behavior on those who came before, it's kind of a thing. Arguably, the fact that you didn't do that is weirder.

[rank1]

[A touch sharper:]

So I'm weird. I can live with that. Half my dead loved ones were killers too, you know? Kinda sends mixed messages.

[dealwiththe]

It does, at that.

So which relative do you think you most resemble?

[rank1]

My twin brother, but only if you can see past the douchebag’s sense of style.

[dealwiththe]

I could say the same about mine. Turtlenecks, I'm not kidding.

[ Lucifer rolls his eyes at the very thought. ]

But which relative would you say is your role model? The person who's moral compass - or lack of one - is closest to yours?

[rank1]

[He knows what Lucifer is getting at, but he figures it better to skirt around it. He loathes lying, but their safety matters —— the people who make him wanna act better, even if he’ll never model himself on them.]

My brother’s the only relative alive. He’s not my role model, but I guess we’ve got a similar compass.

[dealwiththe]

[ Mostly, what Lucifer is getting at is all those killers Travis claims are in his family. ]

It's not terribly surprising, that you and your brother would have a similar way of looking at things.

[ He is, of course, assuming that Travis and his brother were - you know, raised together. ]

What about your father? What was he like? Anything in you attributable to him?

[rank1]

We’ve got different ends to the same shit, but yeah. We’re cut from the same cloth.

[But his father… Travis pauses.]

Talking to my dad, you’d think he was a real upstanding guy. Model husband and father and citizen, you know? A lot of people liked him, but the guy was twisted. Real sicko, no humanity in him. I don’t want to be anything like him.

[dealwiththe]

So, you're not like that. You're not a "twisted sicko" like him?

[rank1]

Nope. Says a lot about him, huh?

[dealwiththe]

What's it say, exactly? He's killed more people than you?

Lmk if you want to change conversation topics or handwave, it’s gnarly

[rank1]

I only fight other killers. That wouldn’t cut it for dear old Dad — the guy had a hard-on for the innocent. He’s probably swapping notes with Ted Bundy and the fucking Zodiac Killer in Hell right now.

[Something occurs to him:]

Have you met those guys? They’re in Hell, right?

no worries!

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer gets that sort of question a lot, honestly. Do you know Ted Bundy? What's Hitler's Hell loop like? It's par for the course. ]

I'm much more interested in this whole - difference, between you and your father. Is that why you only kill those you've decided are "worthy"? Because you're trying not to be him?

[rank1]

A bit of that, but I'm honest about it, too. I'm not pretending to be a hardworking family man or a respected member of society. I don't feel fuckin' entitled to kill people for my own sick pleasure.

[dealwiththe]

Honesty is something, I'll give you that. It's rare.

[ Speaking as one painfully honest man to another. But - ]

But you still feel entitled to kill.

[rank1]

I kill people who get the same thrill out of dying at the hands of a skilled warrior that I would. [His own moments, the ones where he's nearly lost, feel like outliers.] Some of 'em are even grateful.

[dealwiththe]

That's still entitlement, so I hope that wasn't you trying to explain to me otherwise. Perhaps you're more like your father than you think.

[rank1]

[Wound thoroughly salted. Clipped:]

How the fuck is it entitled to take what is being offered, with the same bet placed? My life's on the line same as theirs.

[dealwiththe]

You spend a lot of time trying to justify it, that's for sure. Who are you trying to convince, really?

[ Lucifer scoffs. ]

I'm sure your father would try to justify it, too. They all do. You all do. You asked if I've met any of them - I have, most of them. And yes, they are all in Hell, still trying to justify it.