001 / VIDEO / Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

[ Rhys is already an irritable guy, and of he isn't getting a good nights sleep and his basic creature comforts he's even quicker to be a snippy asshole. He must be at a breaking point or something, cause he's really Feeling It Mr. Krabs this week.

The video clicks on, camera focusing on Rhys's face, behind him the sleeping pods from the dorm that he hasn't been lucky enough to escape for the month. ]

So hey, I've been really, really patient with this whole situation. Waaaay more reasonable than anyone deserves, but I think it's about time I put this out there:

Lack of privacy? Of fresh air- real or simulated? Of access to the infirmary, gym, or spa if there even is one on this ship- It's an infringement on human rights.

That's right, I'm suing! And all of you should too. Who's with me?

Comments

text | jvolkhov

[saklas]

I'm not going to disclose how I got into possession of your bones. I'm just telling you the end result.

Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

You're not getting my bones. Look, I can make a distress call and send out a mass email to all the lawyers I know at the same time ok? Multitasking.

text | private | jvolkhov

[saklas]

[Volk straight up posts a phone number.]

Don't ask me how I have a Cotard lawyer, but I have one. Great guy. Feasts on blood. Would call in an air strike on a church bake sale if it looked like infringement. WAY nicer than me. I'm sure he's got connections on the criminal justice end.

I'm under no illusions that private messages here are ACTUALLY private to the staff here, so let's just let this whole comment double as a threat.

[smugreport]

[ Rhys takes that 'feasts on blood' line figuratively. Lawyers, right? ]

I don't know what that is but as long as he's versed in the laws of intergalactic kidnapping and ransom I'll look into him

[saklas]

Sssssure.

He knows someone who can help us if he can't. I know that for sure. He gets paid too much not to.

[smugreport]

[ Unfortunately Rhys's communicator has been DESTROYED and he is now marked as offline. ]