001 / VIDEO / Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

[ Rhys is already an irritable guy, and of he isn't getting a good nights sleep and his basic creature comforts he's even quicker to be a snippy asshole. He must be at a breaking point or something, cause he's really Feeling It Mr. Krabs this week.

The video clicks on, camera focusing on Rhys's face, behind him the sleeping pods from the dorm that he hasn't been lucky enough to escape for the month. ]

So hey, I've been really, really patient with this whole situation. Waaaay more reasonable than anyone deserves, but I think it's about time I put this out there:

Lack of privacy? Of fresh air- real or simulated? Of access to the infirmary, gym, or spa if there even is one on this ship- It's an infringement on human rights.

That's right, I'm suing! And all of you should too. Who's with me?

Comments

video | t.crawford

[sanctus_dei]

[Theo can hardly believe what he's hearing because, from what he can tell, this guy is being 100% serious.]

Suing? With what. With who. In what court.

Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

Uh, with evidence? And lawyers? There's plenty of intergalactic courts that'll see this as an open and shut case.

[sanctus_dei]

[He raises an eyebrow incredulously.]

Uh huh. How ya gonna contact them? On what planet? Where the fuck even are we?! Buddy, I'm not against getting back at these people, but suing them has to be the funniest shit I've heard since I got here. Seriously, suing them.

[Theo leans back in his bunk just marveling at this idea.]

j.barnes (text)

[counterstep]

I'd like to know how a spa is a human right.

Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

Clear pores and relaxed muscles are a human right.

[counterstep]

Huh. Guess I've been violating my own human rights by not doing anything about either of those.

( talk about a pampered lifestyle that someone would think these things though. )

Doesn't steam do the trick for pores? There'd be plenty of that if you run all the showers on hot. Maybe you could do a sauna night or something.

text | c.fraser

[nineteenfortyfive]

Do we have a lawyer on board?

text | jvolkhov

[saklas]

We'd better not, because me talking to a lawyer is an actual human right and if I find out there's been one here and you've all just been sitting around spooning him I'm going to stop being so laid back and fucking pleasant.

[nineteenfortyfive]

Doctors and lawyers go hand in hand. If there's one here, I'd be surprised.

j.barnes > private

[counterstep]

can't imagine they'd shoot themselves in the foot like that
inherently the inmates have very limited rights, after all

yeah it's THE point of contention but also the non-negotiable thing unless maybe all of us wardens go and ask the navarch for better provisioning
there's a whole program for this though so
seems to mean she answers to someone else too

> private

[nineteenfortyfive]

If I'm to be completely honest the legalities of space and this whole bloody program are beyond me. The scale of it, too.

I'm still coming to terms with the fact that we are actually in space.

Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

If there is I'm looking to hire.

[nineteenfortyfive]

I don't think that would go very well.

text | jvolkhov

[saklas]

Rhys, if you can get ahold of ANYONE from the outside and you say ANYTHING that isn't trying to give them our location so they can tell the fucking police I will put your bones in ALPHABETICAL ORDER so help me every single god.

Rhy$.$trongfork

[smugreport]

Hahaha you're like 5"4 dude.

text | jvolkhov

[saklas]

I'm not going to disclose how I got into possession of your bones. I'm just telling you the end result.

video / travistouchdowncrownlessking

[rank1]

[Travis turns on his own video. The camera angle is practically him his own nose, not because he doesn't know how to take a selfie, but because this way he can angle it so that Rhys is in the shot. Yes, he's sprawled out in his own pod.

Like this isn't being broadcast directly to Rhys:]

He's a fucking prisoner and he wants a nicer prison. That's gotta be one of the dumbest things I've ever heard.

j.barnes (text)

[counterstep]

When in Rome.
But would you rather it be poorer conditions?

video / travistouchdowncrownlessking

[rank1]

[Travis adjusts the camera angle so it's dead on. Yes, he is wearing sunglasses indoors. Yes, the yellow lenses turn everything a sickly green under the blue pod lights. No, he doesn't care. He is Intense.]

I can handle whatever you assholes want to throw at me, so bring it.

ACTION

[smugreport]

Wh-

[ Rhys spins around, indignant. ]

Hey! Don't do that.

video / travistouchdowncrownlessking

[rank1]

[Travis keeps the camera on him, and continues talking into it.]

I bet this guy has never been to a gym in his life. He's dressed like a corporate schmuck!

text | l.odinson

[shiftedshape]

It seems I chose the wrong time to finally nod off.

Did you die, Rhys? Barnes ended your video feed so I can only assume the very worst, given how terrible this place is and all.

william.temple

[omniavincit]

He's fine. Broken nose.

But I'm afraid his shirt may never recover.

text; hayakawa

[spanning]

Were you expecting something like this to happen?

[Since William was visible in the background of the video...]

[shiftedshape]

Tragic.

We should keep track of which of us from the old ship dies first.
You know, for fun.