001; text; l.morningstar

[dealwiththe]

[ Probably after the sitch with Theo is resolved - late at night? Early in the morning? Who knows. Time is pretty meaningless to Lucifer. #relatable. ]

I think introductions are in order. My name is Lucifer Morningstar, and I'm a new warden here. For those that recognize my name, yes, I'm probably who you think I am, no, it's not a mistake, and no, I'm not here to kill, maim, torture or eat anyone's soul.

I don't think a soul would have much nutritional value.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here, and I'm used to getting lots of questions, so ask away.

warden filter

What would the over-under be on getting a piano in here do you suppose? Just curious. It's been ages since I've been able to play, and the minibar makes me nostalgic.

[ ooc: if you had a TDM thread with Lucifer, let me know if you'd like it to be game canon or not! I'm fine either way. ♥ ]

Comments

[sanctus_dei]

[The video feed clicks to life on Theo's end, much to his surprise. He's not got this whole communicator thing down yet; he's only just gotten the proper hang of texting. On this side of the screen is one wide-eyed kid, a gaunt face in sharp shadows from the light of the camera inside his dark pod.

He recovers fast though, and that fury from his texts is evident in his expression. But there's a bit of wavering in his voice he can't quite cover up.]

Wh-What the fuck is this, some kind of intimidation tactic? How in the flying fuck am I supposed to trust you! And what kind of deal is that? Talking?! Bullshit. What the fuck do you get out of something like that. You don't need to take my soul - I'm not giving you shit. If this place ain't Hell and I'm somehow not actually dead yet, I'm going there when I finally fucking die anyway! Not fucking soon enough, either!

[dealwiththe]

[ That gets Lucifer to sigh and roll his eyes - the momentary scary dude thing is gone just like that. ]

Catholics, honestly. You know, more of you send yourselves to Hell for completely spurious reasons than almost any other demographic?

Well, when you realize that you're better off having a warden who will actually advocate for you, my deal will still be on the table. Unless someone else takes me up on it, first.

[sanctus_dei]

[There's a momentary flash of emotions on Theo's face, as he processes all of this. Really, all he wants is someone to step up for him, but he's not even close to being in a place where he'll admit that yet.

So, it's time to yell some more.]

Who cares! I don't want a Warden anyway. Even when they force me into having one, I'm not gonna give a shit. I'm not playing these games. I'm burning this place down and I don't care who goes up with it.

[dealwiththe]

[ Lucifer takes all this in with equanimity. It reminds him a lot of himself, actually, so there’s that. Especially the assertion that he doesn’t need anyone, and he’ll burn the whole place down rather than cooperate, even if it means his own self-destruction.

He was angry like that, once. Even tried the burning thing. ]

I’m afraid you won’t be allowed to do that.

[ He says that with a certain amount of sympathy. But also with firmness. He’ll probably have to report this one, for making threats, if only so the other wardens are aware. ]

[sanctus_dei]

[How does one little human hold so much anger?]

I'm not asking for your fucking permission.

[And with that, he snaps the camera off.]