001; text; l.morningstar

[dealwiththe]

[ Probably after the sitch with Theo is resolved - late at night? Early in the morning? Who knows. Time is pretty meaningless to Lucifer. #relatable. ]

I think introductions are in order. My name is Lucifer Morningstar, and I'm a new warden here. For those that recognize my name, yes, I'm probably who you think I am, no, it's not a mistake, and no, I'm not here to kill, maim, torture or eat anyone's soul.

I don't think a soul would have much nutritional value.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here, and I'm used to getting lots of questions, so ask away.

warden filter

What would the over-under be on getting a piano in here do you suppose? Just curious. It's been ages since I've been able to play, and the minibar makes me nostalgic.

[ ooc: if you had a TDM thread with Lucifer, let me know if you'd like it to be game canon or not! I'm fine either way. ♥ ]

Comments

[saklas]

I should decide, and it should look like whatever the hell I want, because its my life.

But, see, that's not how this place works. Your choices are right and mine aren't. Maybe I should start telling people how much everyone hates me, too.

[dealwiththe]

It certainly is your life. And there are always things in our lives that we can't control - we can only choose how to deal with those things.

How are you dealing with this one?

[ The answer is pretty self-evident - not well. But it's more like a rhetorical question, trying to get him to think a bit instead of just lashing out immediately and constantly. ]

[saklas]

What do you think you are, huh?

You trot out your counter-cultural, socially-misfit credentials, how you don't fit in, how you've got a bad reputation, then you sign on to guard a prison?

It's only therapy if someone goes on purpose. If someone's sick and doesn't want medical intervention, cutting them open anyway isn't surgery.

[dealwiththe]

To be fair, the Earth of my universe absolutely has court-mandated therapy. But it's true that you have to make the choice, whether or what to get from it.

So, I ask again, what choices are you making here and now?

[saklas]

You're correct. I'll concede that court-mandated therapy exists. Still not affiliated with Earth, but Augustin has it.

I'll also argue that this isn't a comparison that's as close as you might think it is. There was no court. I don't even know what I'm accused of. I don't even know what you want me to fix.

I'm ✨choosing✨ to keep appealing to the wardens that think you're here to do some good.

Use your head. This system should either be effective, fair, or both. Right now it isn't either.

[dealwiththe]

Okay. So, let's accept the premise that, for the moment, you're stuck here against your will and you can't leave. How would you make this system more fair and effective?

1/2

[saklas]

[unlike this tag, which was written on the spot, Volk had this written already! It boomerangs too fast for him to have not.]

So glad you asked.

1. The inmate dorms aren't just humiliating coffins where we can't change clothes privately, they aren't safe. If one of us wanted to kill someone else, nobody would get there in time, if they even noticed at all. I can cite two pieces of evidence for this. Every single warden cabin has a side-cabin intended for paired inmates. No one is paired, and that means the rooms are sitting unoccupied. Temporary inmates should be offered a choice to move into them, have their own shower, have a place for privacy and be able to sleep behind a locked door.

2. The Navarch won't speak to inmates. We can't argue our case. We arrive with a cookie-cutter message about how we'll be executed if we leave and that the universe is better without us in it. I'm done even trying to reason with her. Wardens can talk to her, though. I've seen you talk about it. Inmates should be given a list of what they're being charged with. Wardens could ask her on their behalf. After that, you have to make the call. If someone says they're innocent, is it better to let guilty ones go free, or to force genuinely blameless ones to be trapped forever because they can't make up for things they never actually did? I sure don't know! Great that this isn't my problem, because I didn't fucking sign up to work for her.

3. The infirmary should be open-access. Take out the scalpels and the sleeping pills if you want to, but we have chemical dependencies and serious psychiatric needs going unaddressed, and I can only guess it's because the other inmates don't want to go through a warden and take the chance that their medical needs will be exposed publicly and they still won't get them treated. Or maybe it's the fact that our only doctor is a surgeon. Kidnapping someone gives them some trust issues. Do you want medicated or unmedicated people in "therapy"? Expand that scenario for someone who suddenly has a heart attack or has their jaw broken by the loading bay door and you will end up with someone that dies in front of a locked infirmary, two feet away from help.

4. THE LOADING BAY DOOR NEEDS A FUCKING SENSOR. It will open and close without warning, I've put things in there, it crushes them. Someone will die. Not if, when.

5. Inmates need to be able to go outdoors and see THE 👏 ACTUAL 👏 SUN 👏, once a day, MINIMUM. I'm pretty sure we've known this as a medical fact for about two thousand years. Even if you assume the rations are giving us the vitamins we need - which I've seen absolutely no one promise - it's going to start making people crazy.

2/2 cw suicide threat

[saklas]

[Volk switches the feed to video. He's holding up an obituary.]

Six.

My family and my work think I'm fucking dead. They sent me this on purpose, by the way. So I'd know. I'm guessing I'm not the only one.

[He wiggles the sheet - it's foam, from the commissary.]

Maybe I remember something like dying. Sure. The fact is that it's irrelevant. I've been here for a month. If this takes ANY longer, by the time I get out of here, I won't have a house or a career to go back to. I will still be multiple hundreds of dollars in debt from college, and I'm going to be ... damaged goods, I had, something happen to me that didn't not make the news -

[And the other debt. The scarier one. Not money. Time. The clock until 27 is still running. His mouth is dry. He looks away from the camera and swallows visibly.]

Inmates should -

[Come on bitch, pull yourself together, let's go.]

Inmates should be able to know what they even want us to do. Along with a list of charges. What are our goals? How long are they supposed to take?

Seven. If I don't have my life to go back to, I sure as shit won't want a life here. Do you understand me? I already know what the loading bay doors do. I need to be able to call the outside. I, fucking, know one of you - can do it, I know you're all -

[His voice is too rough to continue. He clicks the video off.]

8.

stop telling me we're in fucking outer space. like it's a fairytale. like it's all alien messiah bullshit. like we're special. like there's something out there to save anybody, instead of just us and the shit we do to each other. like there's ever going to be anything better. it's not cute. and i haven't been that gullible in a long time.

[dealwiththe]

[ That is the definition of tl;dr, and Lucifer is both new here and also hates doing the reading.

But he skims it! He does! And he's attentive when Volk briefly appears on video.

The main takeaway here is that this one? Is going to be a really tough case. Lucifer does not envy whoever winds up as his warden. That includes himself. Just - layer upon layer of denial, for a start. ]

Thanks, I'll pass your concerns on to the other wardens.

[ He doubts Volk will believe him, but he will, and they may even act on one or two of them. ]

I do have one follow-up question for you, though. Say you knew the charges against you, and what the goals are, and perhaps even had a specific timeline for completing them. Would that change anything about your behavior? Would you be at all inclined to work towards those goals, knowing that doing so would secure your freedom?

[saklas]

I am not going to agree to do something when I don't even know what it is yet.

That said -

You have no idea what I'd do to get what I want.

[a normal and cool thing to say to the devil]

[dealwiththe]

Make a deal with the Devil?

[ Lucifer always goes for the obvious. Subtlety isn't in his vocabulary. ]

[saklas]

Obviously, that's an illegal and dangerous thing to accuse someone of

[Nope. Too coy. Shows too much. Deleted before sending.]

Why, do you have one?

[Nope. Deleted before sending. He can't...

well, even if a devil could get him out of here, unless it's a Devil of Eyes, he physically can't make a deal, let's put it that way.]

Why did you even ask about what I'd do to make this place more fair and effective if you clearly don't care about the answer?

[dealwiththe]

Mister Volk, I have said I will bring your response to the other wardens for a thorough discussion, and I will do so. Whether you believe I care or not is your decision. Have a pleasant rest of your day.

[ He's obviously pulled the name from another network thread or asked someone about him or something like that. ANYWAY.

That's the end of the discussion. ]

[saklas]

thanks i literally never do