001; text; l.morningstar

[dealwiththe]

[ Probably after the sitch with Theo is resolved - late at night? Early in the morning? Who knows. Time is pretty meaningless to Lucifer. #relatable. ]

I think introductions are in order. My name is Lucifer Morningstar, and I'm a new warden here. For those that recognize my name, yes, I'm probably who you think I am, no, it's not a mistake, and no, I'm not here to kill, maim, torture or eat anyone's soul.

I don't think a soul would have much nutritional value.

Anyway, I'm glad to be here, and I'm used to getting lots of questions, so ask away.

warden filter

What would the over-under be on getting a piano in here do you suppose? Just curious. It's been ages since I've been able to play, and the minibar makes me nostalgic.

[ ooc: if you had a TDM thread with Lucifer, let me know if you'd like it to be game canon or not! I'm fine either way. ♥ ]

Comments

[dealwiththe]

[ Another one who seems to be mired in deep, deep denial. Hoo boy. ]

I see. So what do you believe?

[smugreport]

[ He's not in denial he's just, y'know, normal. ]

That we're captives in the far reaches of space, being held ransom or some other kind of capitalist gain? Ask @ jvolkhov he's got way more energy to fight you about it, it's practically all he does!

Oh except the space part, but that's cause he comes from some backwater end of the universe.

[dealwiththe]

[ Yes, totally normal denial. ]

The only thing I can say right now is that I wish you luck. You're in for quite a time.

1/3

[saklas]

IS THERE A DEAD BODY FOR ME TO SEE OR AM I GOING TO HAVE TO MAKE ONE MYSELF RHYS

2/3

[saklas]

STOP USING THE PINGS

we aren't in fucking space that's asinine

[ok one sec he's scrolling. UGH]

3/3

[saklas]

Also, I'm not a fucking theoretical physicist, but I think this isn't how multiverse theory works in real life and instead is how it works in Batman? Every time I say things like this, nobody cares and they just keep verbally hefting turds around anyway. Talking shit. Really getting in their fucking reps. Batman wasn't a documentary, space travel is wildly impractical, everyone in this conversation is an asshole, stop waking me up for this

[smugreport]

Cool. I'm done with this conversation so I'm gonna let you guys figure this out.

@ jvolkhov @ l.morningstar

not here

[dealwiththe]

[ Yeeeaaaaaah Lucifer has already long since Logged Off For the Night. Volk's gonna have to scream into the void. How do you turn off push notifs on this thing????

But he sees what you did there. ]

[saklas]

I am not your employee. You're incompetent. Go fuck a cat.

[smugreport]

[ has put communicator on silent mode :) ]

[saklas]

Nobody smart enough to fix your mistakes would ever work for you. They can do better.

[smugreport]

1. I'm a great boss. Maybe the best boss? At least a contender for the spot.

2. Anyone will do anything for the right price.

3. I'm asleep stop texting me.

[saklas]

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought you were done already. Did getting the last word make you feel better?

You're panicky, closed-minded, unimaginative, transparent and clumsy when you're trying to be slick, and childish. I can't imagine that giving you more resources fixes any of that, but the worst part is that you're not honest with yourself about it, so you will never, ever overcome any of it.

Whatever it is you're trying to fake before you make it - and, let's be clear, I don't really care what it is - you will never get there, honey. You'll never be different.

[omniavincit]

That was cruel.

[saklas]

✨❤️🧡💛💚💙💜🖤🤍✨

spiderman pointing at spiderman, redux

[smugreport]

[ Here's the thing, coming from someone else, someone Rhys held in any sort of esteem, words like this would probably hurt. But coming from Volk? He's teflon.

Mostly. ]

Oooooh ouch, you really got me!

You think I'd have survived corporate as long as I have if little monologues like this got to me? I've already made it, further then some burnt out arts major who looks like he dressed with the lights off ever will.

Sorry you got bullied in school or whatever and now want to take it out on everyone who did better than you but I also don't really care.

sorry for the constant threadjacks, I promise I'll dial it back after this...

[omniavincit]

This is what I meant when I said you treat people like shit.

Knock it off.

should we move this to an inbox to save lucifer the notifs?

[saklas]

what, no. No, leave him alone, we're fighting. Where did you even come from?

[???????]

text | william.temple

[omniavincit]

[ William's been following the post (to gauge how "Lucifer" interacts with inmates, or at least that's how it started)(and also because He GoT fUcKiNg Cc'D), but this reply comes at a considerable delay—after he's slept.

After he's ridden out the flush of satisfaction he feels upon reading Volk's reply. Hasn't he thought the same thing? Hasn't he itched to shove Rhys face-first into reality, hold him down a second too long?

It's an ugly, wretched impulse. He's awash in guilt when he types out: ] Prove him wrong. I know you can.

[smugreport]

I don't have to prove anything to this guy.

[omniavincit]

[ He would kill for some idea of the tone here... ] Then why are you still fighting with him?

[smugreport]

I thought you ran a company? This is just your average office talk.

[omniavincit]

I did and I hated this shit.

Do you like it?

[smugreport]

Eh. It's part of the whole package.

[ Big non answer. Truthfully, he doesn't really like it, but what's the alternative? Huggy feely companies like Maliwan? They were low-tier. Atlas would strike a balance. ]

[omniavincit]

You could talk to him like a person.